Tuesday, February 24, 2015

treading down unknown spaces...

I tread down the space everyday, and let the work tire me down and the stare at the screen hide me into the oblivion. I just want to become another faceless person as I scurry for cover from recognizable faces. It must sound nice to cultivate habits that last, habits that begin to take over your will, habits that were once the product of those wills. It begins even before you anticipate the day and see its givings and wipe away the tiredness of the last night. Waking up fresh is a reconciled emotion, but you wake up to habits without knowing what the day holds and without seeing your own mark on the day..you hurry down the corridors, you wait along reluctant doors, you postpone your work to heal the tiredness but the tedium takes over, it swamps over all that you expect to achieve. You start to get irritated over those things that were supposed to get you through those days when you did not have anything and there was nothing which was being expected, you see them as intervening in your life and perhaps in the luxury of being that you were anticipating all this while but it all is a deluge which you were not prepared for, perhaps it was another walk into the oblivion that you wanted, perhaps getting rid of the tiredness is about being unrecognised, but you still put your self in that position where you announce your arrival and the being in the world, you stand unreconciled to yourself, a shadow of all desires, chasing oneself where one is not and cannot be ....

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